CLAIRE IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE IS COMPLETE, WONDERFUL, PERFECT, HEAVENLY, ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I was debating whether or not I should tell the birth story now, or later. I figured I might as well do it now. It is a LLLOONNNGGG story, because it was a LLOONNGG labor, so if you are interested sit back and get comfortable ;)
On Monday March, 7, 2011 I woke up and got up to put my dog outside. As I got to my bedroom door I felt a "gush" of fluid. It stopped me in my tracks. I thought, is this my waters breaking?!?!? Well, I tried to stay calm because, although I have not had incontinence during this pregnancy, I know it is common and I knew that it could have just been a leak of urine. Ryan worked that night and called on his way home. I told him that I think my membranes may have ruptured. He got really excited and I had to tell him that it didn't mean anything was about to happen.
Well, my contractions started to pick up and get a little stronger. They were not very regular and I just tried to relax. Now, by afternoon, I knew that my water had broken. I had a continual leak of amniotic fluid. Having been an L&D nurse I knew that if I was not in, at least active labor, by 24 hours after the rupture of my membranes they would want to induce me. I did NOT want to be induced so I decided that I would take the right precautions and watch for obvious signs and symptoms of infection (which is the biggest risk of having membranes ruptured) and not go into the hospital until I felt like labor was more imminent. I was also keeping track of Claire's movement and felt confident that she was doing well.
Nothing really happened all day, except me contracting. I went to bed that night hoping I would wake up in intense labor. Well, at 1201 a.m. I woke up with an INTENSE contraction. For some reason it just felt horrible to be lying down. I got up. I was so excited! I sat and relaxed in the rocking chair in our room. Slowly, irregularly I started to feel more and more intense contractions. It was so exciting. At one point I got in the shower and then braided my hair so I would be ready for delivery ;) If only I had known.
By 5:20 a.m. I just was sure this was it and I was going to have the baby that day. Ryan and I decided that March 8 was a great day to have a baby. Ryan told me that I should get as much rest as possible, though and that I should try to lay down and rest. I tried. It hurt. I didn't rest. Through out that day Ryan and mom started to get the house ready for a baby. I just tried to rest and relax and breathe through my strong, irregular contractions. By 2:00 p.m. I knew I should at least call my midwives and tell them I think my water broke and I was contracting. She told us to come in and get checked.
After a long wait in the office, I got checked and it was indeed amniotic fluid and I was dilated to 3 cm! A few days ago I was only 1 cm so I took this as a good sign. I called my mom and told her what was happening and told her and Trina to meet us at the birthing center.
By 6:45 p.m. we were at the birthing center and my contractions were still irregular but they felt more intense. We got situated and I started the labor dance.
The below picture is one of my favorite positions to be in during labor. Now, the WHOLE time I was in labor it KILLED to be lying down during contractions, I was on my feet or sitting almost the whole time. Even when I was 9-10cm dilated I loved rocking against Ryan. It made the contractions fell better.
Ryan and Trina made a party out of the night. They tried to keep the mood light.
I got insanely jealous of Trina who not only could she lay down but she could sleep! In between contractions I laid down next to her. Oh, that would have been nice :)
This is Ryan showing off his support person name tag. He was super excited and flying high at first.
This was me still in labor trying to rest, rocking in the chair. This was in the middle of the night and it had now been over 24 hours since I had slept or really laid down. It was starting hit me.
In the morning they decided they needed to start an IV on me to give me antibiotics because of my prolonged ruptured membranes. It was a good thing I told them that my water broke on Tuesday instead of on Monday or they would have been pushing for more interventions sooner.
For the most part, my labor was actually super relaxed. I had done a lot of mediating and preparation for labor and it was neat because I felt in control.
These are my support people :) They were really great. Ryan was taking a much needed break. Mom was on duty at this point. Mom and Ryan were just incredible. So was Katrina. She just couldn't stay the whole time because she had to be at school. I am so grateful they were able to be there. Ryan was wonderful. He rocked and moved and repositioned and talked me through the whole time, especially during the end when things got rough.
My mom was just wonderful. She got maybe 3 hours of sleep during the 3 day process. She was by my side and supporting me and my decisions the whole way. I needed that support because things didn't go the way most "normal"labors go.
This was Ryan and I rocking through contractions. It is wonderful having such a strong big husband :)
By Wednesday evening I was only dilated 5-6 cm. That means I had only progressed 3-4 cm over a 24 hour period...If I had been under different care I would have been started on pitocin and I KNOW I would have ended up in a c-section. I am so grateful for my midwives and OB's.
I got into the pool when I was 5-6 cm dilated. It was wonderful! It really helped me relax. I was hoping to deliver in there but it didn't work out that way.
Ryan was by my side, talking me through contractions. A phrase he would say a lot that I think brought him a lot of comfort was, "That is one contraction closer to Claire!"
Now for the intense part of the story. So by Wednesday night I was exhausted. I hadn't been able to lay down since Tuesday morning at midnight. My body was worn out, emotionally I was becoming drained and discouraged because I know that labor does not usually go this way.
At about 11:00 p.m. the midwife and nurse came in and checked me with no change :( I was soo upset I started crying. They told me that I could keep on doing what I was doing and I would probably just wear myself out too much to even get to the pushing stage, I could get started on pitocin right now, or I could try this drug cocktail that would make me sleep for a few hours and maybe relax my body enough to encourage some kind of cervical change. They gave Ry and I a couple of minutes to quietly think and pray about it. We felt like the best thing to do at this time would be to get rest. I knew I couldn't handle too much longer of the non-productive contractions and I knew I could not handle being on pitocin without rest. So they gave me some IV medicine (phenergan and nubain). Instantly I was woozy. They told me I would sleep for about an hour...I was out for 3 hours. I think I was just exhausted and I had never had medicine like that before so I wasn't used to it. I woke up around 2:00 a.m. right when the midwife walked in. She checked me and found that not "all my water and broken" which translates into I had a forebag that probably broke but the main bag of water didn't break. I was also dilated to a 7 cm finally. So she went ahead and broken my waters...again. Instantly I was contracting much stonger and closer together. I was so happy and rested, though, that I didn't mind. Ryan and I started to do lunges and squats and rocking together more. We had gotten my mom back in the room because she had went into the lobby to get some rest too while we rested.
At this point I was pushing my self so much. I just knew that I had to have this baby vaginally. The thought of a c-section felt so wrong. I had to fight and give it my all. I had been in labor since Monday morning...this was Wednesday night (early Thursday morning) and my all was not a lot.
At 3:00 a.m. I was feeling the urge to push!!! I asked to be checked and I was 9-10 cm! Woohoo! I was so happy because in my experience it never takes that long to get rid of the rest of that cervix at this point. I did some change of positions. I was in the pool. I thought things were going great. By 4:00, there was still a lateral cervical lip...meaning that all of my cervix was gone except for a spot on the right side. My midwife suggested pushing through it. I agreed because I knew that you could usually push through the cervix.
Wow, that was the MOST EXCRUCIATING PAIN I had ever felt! It felt wrong. Don't get me wrong, I know it hurts when you push, but this pain was not the right kind of pain. But we stuck with it and we pushed and danced and chagned position and pushed some more for about 5 1/2 hours....5 1/2 LLLLOOONNNNGGG hours. Wow.
The midwife left me at one point and told me to rest and when she came back she would check me and we would go from there. She came back and not only was my cervix still there but it was swelling...There weren't too many options at this point. I knew that basically I had to choose from pitocin or c-section. I was afraid my midwives would not be patient enough to let me choose the pitocin and would be pushing for a c-section. But no! They were so supportive! We through me on the wheel chair and wheeled me over to the L&D because you couldn't be in the natural birthing center when being induced with pitocin.
By the time we got to the L&D I was feeling such a HUGE urge to push. I still had the cervical lip and if I pushed I would make the cervix swell and it would be impossible for me to have a vaginal birth. I knew that if I didn't get an epidural I would be pushing. So at more than 9 1/2 cm dilated, I got an epidural.
****Side note**** Oh man!! I do NOT like epidurals. I was so blessed that this epidural was done perfectly and so well, but man, I do not like how they make my body feel. I am grateful though because I went through both sides of labor--natural and drugged and now I can know wheat both sides are like. I think it may help me be a better L&D nurse.
After I had the epidural, my exhaustion took over me. My nurse kept trying to talk to me and I just couldn't focus enough to answer her questions. The whole room seemed to be spinning. (My blood pressure was just fine, it wasn't bottoming out). It was a crazy feeling like I was drunk on exhaustion. So I mustered up the energy to tell my nurse, "I can't talk right now...."
Well, after about an hour of the pitocin, my nurse came back to check me and....I STILL had the cervical lip!!! Looking back I was surprised that this didn't make me more upset. I was just filled with a calm feeling and just laid back and told myself to relax. We rolled me to the other side and decided she would check me later.
After dosing on and off all of a sudden I woke up because I could hear that my baby was having a deceleration (when the babies heart rate drops). Up til this point, Claire's heart rate had been great. At about the same time, I was feeling the urge to push come back. I started to get a little worried because I didn't want to push with my cervix still there. Well, my nurse came in and she decided to check me again because she thought that could be a sign of Claire's head rotating and dropping down. Lo, and behold.... it did!!! After over 2 hours of pitocin, the cervical lip was gone and Claire's head was rotated and now at a +1 station!!
My nurse went out and grabbed my midwife. She got everything ready. At the same time someone asked me if I minded if an EMT student was present at the birth. At this point, I could care less so I said, "Sure."After everything was all pulled together, Mick, my midwife, told me to give it a trial push. Oh... there was NO trial pushing for me. I knew that I was so exhausted, I had to get her out NOW or it was never going to happen. I took a deep breath and pushed just like I had instructed others to push so many other times. I could feel Claire moved down. The look on Ryan's, Mom's, my nurse's, and Mick's face was priceless! They were like, "We can see her head!" A couple of the nurse's were like, "Wow, she can push!" That was sooooo encouraging! After days of what felt like failure finally I did something right. Well after about 15 minutes, her head was out!! What a relief! I was so worn out by this point though. Claire had a nuchal cord (the cord was wrapped around her neck) so I had to stop pushing to wait for Mick to move the cord. Mick told me I had to push the rest of her out NOW. I pushed with ALL my might but I couldn't move her shoulders! Instinct kicked in and I had this weird feeling of being separated from my body. I yelled at mom and Ryan to bring my legs back farther to my shoulders (the joys of not being able to move your own legs) and at the same time the nurse was lowering my head. Although noone said it out loud, I knew we were all worried about shoulder distocia. Once they got me in a better position, I was finally able to push Claire out. Wow, the shear joy that filled the moment she came out and I saw her arms flailing.
They placed her on my bare chest and I looked down at her and said, "My baby!" As soon as Claire heard my voice she looked up and opened her eyes. My heart was gone the moment I saw her eyes. I am crying right now as I type about it. There was a look of recognition in her eyes and I KNEW I had seen those precious eyes before. It was this amazing feeling of reunion. I had missed this girl for the last 23 1/2 years of my mortal existence and being reunited with her again was the most sweet moment I have ever experienced in my whole life. The pass three days and hours of painful pushing were nothing. I knew I would have done it all over again just to have this precious baby.
As all these emotions passed through me, I thought, 'Where's Ryan? What is he feeling?' I looked up at him and I saw in his eyes the same feelings I felt. He was crying and I was crying. It was the most complete feeling in the world.
I looked over to my mom and her whole face was just a light with joy. She was so happy and I don't know if I have ever felt closer to my mom. Knowing what a mother goes through to have a baby and having my mom stand next to me while I did the same for my precious daughter created this amazing bond.
Later on my mom told me that the EMT student was crying when Claire was born. I think there was a very special feeling in the room. There always is in a birth when a baby is welcomed into the world by a loving supportive family.
I was so in love and every moment that passes by I feel more and more in love. She is the biggest blessing in our lives.
This is the precious baby girl!! She weighed 8 lbs. and was 21 inches long. Her name is Lilia Claire Loveland. I have no clue where we got the name Lilia other than the fact that her little spirit has always reminded me of a precious little flower. We named her Claire after my mom and I had a wonderful roommate named Claire. I figure it wouldn't hurt to name her after two of the most wonderful women in the world ;) We are going to follow the Lamoreaux tradition of going by the middle name and we will call her Claire. She was born March 10, 2011 at 12:03 p.m. practically perfect in every way.
Look at those beautiful muscular Loveland thighs! I have given many vitamin K shots in many baby thighs and I have never seen any thighs like this! She is going to a little athlete like her daddy! I am so excited :)
Those amazing thighs again :) Look at that beautiful head! It came out perfect! I did not tear at all! I was amazed! She does not have the White head size that is for sure :)
I did not want anyone to take her from me! I worked so hard for her, there was nothing in this world that could take her away from me. It has been a week now and she has still not left my side. I do let others hold her, but I can hardly handle being in a different room from her.
It was so neat. They brought us back to the birthing center after about an hour. As we were being willed into the hallway I looked over and saw my dad!!! I guess the moment he heard that I had Claire he got in his car at work, in Cincinnati and drove up to Dayton (about an hour away). It was so wonderful to see my dad! What an amazing day. My dad was so worried the whole time I was in labor. One time, he and the kids had come up to the hospital, while I was in labor and the pain in his face when he looked at me was so intense. He hates to see people he loves in pain.
Dad was a very happy dad and grandpa! He told me a couple days later that that morning when I was pushing he had a nightmare that he was in the womb again! How crazy is that?
This is Claire looking at grandma White with those precious eyes. She knows how much everyone loves her for sure!
This is us back in the birthing center. I was worn out but man I was filled with adrenaline and pure joy! NOTHING could get me down at this point! Notice how I am sitting up? I was still so numb but I could not handle laying down when I was so excited and happy.
Ryan was just amazing and worried the whole time. I just have to say how grateful I am for him. He is the most incredible husband and dad. He went through a huge emotional roller coaster ride during the whole event and he was just ecstatic once we finally had Claire in our arms.
Here is our precious Claire, later on, that day. She is probably about 7 hours old. I just love that cute round face!
Dad had driven mom back home because she had so little sleep. Then they came back that evening so the kids could visit. This is Anna. She is an amazing aunt! She is so helpful and so in love with little Claire Bear.
Austin loves his niece too. He comes home everyday from school hoping to get his hands on the baby. I love it.
Uncle Nick is so great with Claire. He loves to rock her to sleep.
Claire is so in love with her dad. She loves it when he talks and sings to her. I am so in love with her dad, too. He is a pretty special guy.
I Love Dad....Is there anything more to say?
Ryan and I both wanted to hold her. We tried to be polite and nice but it was hard for either one of us to put her down. I have to say after going though that whole experience I feel closer and more in love with Ry-guy than ever before.
True Love :)
This is the next day. We went home the next day around 5:00 p.m. I have to say I have not wanted to leave somewhere so bad! After I had Claire, I would move or turn and all of a sudden think I was about to have a contraction! It was kinda traumatic. I just needed to leave so I could relax.
This bear outfit was bought by my dad. One day he went shopping and randomly bought this outfit because he though Claire would look so cute in it...and she did!
Our little Claire Bear!
Is there anything more precious?
That evening we came home and the kids were so excited to see her again. I was showing Anna how to breastfeed. I think it is so important to teach and talk about breastfeeding. Our culture has lost the art of breastfeeding. So I have been talking to Anna a lot about it. She now knows how important it is. Claire is an AMAZING feeder! She is already putting on weight!
Uncle Austin going gaga over Claire Bear.
I love her hands! They are constantly moving and grasping things.
Uncle Levi loving on Claire.
Now she is home and doing great. We are so in love. I love every moment I get to hold her and love on her. I love her little spirit. I love her eyes. I love her moans and cries. I love her sighs. I love waking up with her every night. I love bathing her. I love dressing her. I don't think I could ever be more in love!!!!
Wow, where have the last 2 weeks gone? Claire is getting so big! I can't believe it but she is now too long for her new born clothes! Ahh!
Grandma White (my mom) just bought a fancy new camera. She loves taking pictures of Claire with it.
Claire is doing great. She is still breastfeeding like a champ. She is happy and only cries when she is hungry. We are still just completely in love!
